A Tribute to the Men

Today is Father's Day. I have been blessed with an amazing father. One who always looks out for me, physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. He is always willing to talk, goes out of his way to get me little gifts and just show he cares. He has guided me through some rough waters in my life, made me laugh uncontrollably with his stories, and taught me many things. From my dad I have learned love, forgiveness, hard work, patience, understanding, and what kind of man I am looking for someday. I love my daddy.

But, I know that while I have been blessed with a father who is still a very active part of my life, many people do not enjoy that blessing. So thank you to all you grandpas, uncles, brothers, and other dear men that are helping fill that spot that needs to be filled. I have many precious people in my life that struggle with Father's Day, due to the lack of their father in their life, so I thank you deeply for softening that hurt of this special day, and know that you are recognized for your support and love.

While our earthly father figures may all differ, we do all have a father that we can count on and shouldn't forget on this special day, or on any day for that matter; our Heavenly Father. On Father's Day, I tend to recall very tender memories and touching moments that I have shared with my earthly father, and I am so grateful for those. But I also try to be acutely aware of what my Heavenly Father has done for me throughout my life as well. He has blessed me in so many ways, so many times, both when I felt worthy of His tender mercies, and those times when I have not. He is always there for us. He wants to hear from us, so that He can help us and love us and teach us, the way our earthly father figures try to do.

Thank you, all of you wonderful men. I know I have many stellar men in my life, and I want you to know that you all do make a difference, if to nobody else, to me.

Why Fix What isn't Broken?

Before today, when asked what is the worst feeling in the world, I might have answered a broken bone, or heartache, or no milk in the fridge. But, now what for me is the worst feeling in the world, is being told you are broken and need to be fixed. Let me explain:

Growing up, I was an awkward little kid, trying to grow into my own body, and one of my most noticeable traits was my ears sticking out. Many of my friends and peers would comment on it, some in a nasty and hurtful way. In fourth grade, I heavily debated getting them pulled back, to be "normal" like everyone else, but decided against it.

Fast forward to my first year of college. Living in the dorms, everyone is trying to meet everyone, names are hard to remember, yada yada. Found out a group of boys called me "Ears" because they couldn't remember my name. That stung a little, but I had grown comfortably into my own skin and ears.

Now let's go to today. Today, my mom shares with me an email she got from a plastic surgeon. He approached them about my ears, saying he could "fix" them, and since I wasn't married or anything (is this implied I won't get married because of my ears???) he could take care of it for me. Now that hurt. That stung. Having your parents approached by a plastic surgeon to "fix" you, implying that you are broken or that something is wrong. 

I could try to express to you the feeling of having my heart ripped out, or my confidence stripped from me, or the endless tears and emotional prayers that have occurred this morning, but I won't. I will share with you a more positive aspect from this very painful experience.

As a 21 year old single female, marriage is hopefully somewhere near in the future, and then my husband and I will start a family and have children. What kind of an example would I be setting for my children, "fixing" insecurities and little traits that make you an individual? When I have a daughter who doesn't like her nose, are we going to "fix" it like mommy "fixed" her ears? Because her nose is different from others, does that make it "broken" and something that needs to be "fixed"? No.

Maybe my ears detract or distract from my beauty, but who is anyone to tell me I am broken and need fixing? Each of our little traits that we are acutely aware of and try to hide or minimize, they are what make us individuals. What make us who we are. My ears stick out. Most people's don't. But putting them back, what will that "fix"?  I will still have the same heart, the same desires, the same humor, the same spirit, and that is what I should be working to fix and improve, not my little physical traits that are different. 

Love yourself. Love who you are, embrace your quirks and qualities. Be careful with your words for you never know whose soul or spirit you may have just damaged or crushed, whether it be temporarily or permanently.

Dear Future Husband,

Dear Future Husband,

I have some very good news for you!... Not only do you get to spend eternity with me (bless your heart), but you get to also be sealed to the Hanna family for the rest of forever! Now before you faint from excitement, let me tell you a bit of what that constitutes:

• You get to have my wonderful mother as your mother in law, which means that you will be treated like a king, remembered on every holiday, and a pro dog walker when we visit my parents. :)
• You'll get the best father in law you could ever ask for! He is a doctor which will come in handy when we get sick, or our kids get sick, but he is also great at advice, and he is going to give you some rock hard abs with how funny he is!
• Let me tell you about your sister in law and her husband (Kristen and Alex)! They are a party and a half! When they come back to the states, you and I will be visiting them often, having competitions and dinners together and all that jazz. You'll love them. :)
• If you think you're the luckiest guy now, I still have 3 more to tell you about! Robert is going to be your brother as well, and he is one seriously clever and hilarious guy! Y'all will have a good time. :)
• Elliot is going to be your brother as well, and you are going to really enjoy him! You can work out with him, talk about any subject under the sun with him, and just enjoy some stellar company, who also got the funny gene! (Common in all the Hanna's!)
• Last but not least, your other sister in law is Ashleigh. She is so great! She is willing to do just about anything for you, so when we see her, it will be such a treat! We will have to battle her in just dance, and out sing her in the car, but I think we can handle it! ;)

Yes, my dear future husband, you are getting a good deal. I mean, all you have to do is put up with me for the rest of forever, (handle my pranks, try to understand my twisted sense of humor, help me reach tall things, participate in my random dance parties, pardon my terrible singing, and love me and let me love you) and then you'll get to be a part of this wonderful family! I think you can handle it. :)

You're welcome ;)

Forever yours,

Lindsey

The Golden Gate State

This past week I spent in California visiting Matt, and it was a wonderful week! I have come home with many stories, adventures, and memories, and here are a few!

1. First off, I got to spend a whole week with this guy, which was amazing. He is great. :)

2. We went indoor skydiving, which was SUPER fun, and we both rocked it. :)

3. We got to spend a day in San Fran, walking the piers, going to Rainforest Cafe, playing a 7-d game/ride, getting some chocolate, and a little jog at the end!

4. It was my first time riding on a ferry (that I know of), and it was "ferry" fun. ;)

5. We went to a drive in movie with Amber and Mike, which was a blast! I loved it, they are great. :)

I don't have pictures to show for the rest of the activities, but we got to go on a picnic, go white water rafting (which was my first time and it was EPIC), visit my family in the area, swimming, playing Settlers, going to the park, and just enjoying time together with other little activities. 

I got to stay with the Goulding family, and it was a blast! I absolutely loved getting to know them all, and they are so fun and funny, and I hope they enjoyed having me at least 1/8th as much as I enjoyed spending time with them! They sacrificed a whole week to let me come and party with them, and I am very grateful. Hopefully I will be seeing them again soon! :)

Basically, it was one heck of a week, and if anyone wants to ship me back to California for round two, I would not be opposed. ;)

Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So-La-Ti-Do

I love music, and from time to time I will get a random song stuck in my head, and lately it has been the Do-Re-Mi song from The Sound of Music. Today was a deep thinking day, and as I was singing this song in my head, I realized that it actually really applies to my life right now.

Do- (as in dough). I am like pizza dough. (hear me out!) I have the potential to become this delicious pizza, but in order to make that happen, I need to be kneaded out and worked on to become ready for the better things. I have been stretched in every direction, (physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally) and at some points I feel like I am going to wear thin, and I will need to start over or back track. But, as I work on all my various areas, I can stretch myself and go from some little ball of dough into a delicious pizza.

Re- (as in ray). I have spent a bit of time in the sun lately, playing tennis with the brother and working on the pool. Yesterday, I was in the sun an exceptional amount of time, and I have beautiful bright red shoulders to prove it! I got to thinking about the rays of sun, and how over time they can work on you and affect you. We all have to potential to share our rays, and work on people. Some rays are healthy, and some are dangerous, and most depend on the dosage you are taking in. Be aware of the rays you are sending out, as well as the rays you are taking in from those around you.

Mi- (as in me). Self introspection and reflection have been on my mind quite a bit lately, and I have come so far. I do so well when I am busy and working on things, especially with or for other people. The most detrimental question I can ask myself, is "what about me?" When I ask that question, I tend to get selfish and greedy and assuming everyone should be tending to me. I try to counter the question, with "what about ___?" *insert another person's name here* and usually my mood improves and I am once again humbled and happy.

Fa- (as in far, with a british accent). I have many countdowns on my phone. The shortest of which is my California trip in 9 days, the longest being 219 days which is Christmas. Sometimes both of these things seem far away, while at others they seem to be so close. It's all about perspective. Regardless of the time distance from whatever you are looking forward to, every day matters and will get you there, so make it count.

So- (as in sew). As a young single adult living in a little ol' dirt town in Texas, I have some time on my hands, that I would like to fill with constructive activities and such. This past week, I sewed a dress! (for those of you who don't know me, this is a big deal!) My last sewing experience was with my grandma about 10 years ago, and she worked the sewing machine and lined everything up, and all I did was listen to her explain what she was doing, and push the pedal when she told me to. But, I had time, so I bought a pattern and some fabric, Mandie refreshed my memory on the sewing machine, and I figured out the pattern and made a stinking dress! It took lots of time, even more patience, but in the end I now have a dress and the confidence in my sewing abilities.

La- (as in... la, haha). I love to play piano (as does everyone in my family) and when my little sister goes to play, she invites me sometimes and we will either play duets, or one will play and the other will sing. She is a singer... I am not. But hey, if we were singing for the music, it would be a sad little experience. But we are singing for fun and just enjoying each other's company. My days are full of these little moments.

Ti- (ummm)... so I actually don't have anything for ti. I thought of tea, but I don't drink tea. I thought of tee, as in golf, but I don't play golf either. So ti can stand for t, as in t-shirt. I wear a t-shirt almost every day during the week, to accommodate my daily activities of working out and working in general. But, on the weekends I try to clean up a bit for going out with the family or going to Church. Just a fun fact for whomever is reading this, haha.

Do- (as in do). Doing is an action verb. I have tried to make that my motto for this year, but especially for this summer. When my mom asks me to go pick up Ash or go grab something from the store or to walk the dogs, yes I'll do it. When Mandie asks me if I can take her to the dentist, yes I'll do it. If I get a call from someone in the middle of the night, yes I'll answer it. Do things. Whatever moment you are in, it is a one-time opportunity. The EXACT same moment will not happen again. Seize it.

A Moment in Time

Life is a very similar experience for most people, or at least certain moments are fairly common in each individual's life. Everyone experiences love (both given and received), death, heartache, gratitude, change, etc. I have often marked my own life by big experiences, such as my birth, changing grades, graduating high school, going to college, big family vacations, and other such activities that seem to be big, and looking forward to big moments such as marriage, becoming a mom, graduating college, beginning a career, and those sorts of things. But, when I reflect back on my life, or on the people in my life, it is never the big things that have altered my life or my being. It is always the small moments that are the sweetest and most crucial in living life.

I remember always getting so excited for family vacations; planning out with my siblings which roller coasters to ride or what sites to hit. We would talk about it for months, and finally the big day would come! We would travel to the desired destination, and do the activities that that area had to offer, and head back home. Looking forward to them I was excited for the big things. But looking back, it was never the tallest roller coaster or famous monument that I think of. I remember riding the elevator, laughing hysterically on the car rides, getting lost on the way, losing the sunscreen, tripping over rocks, and other silly moments that could have happened anywhere, not just at Disneyland or wherever we happened to be.

I remember looking forward to Kristen's wedding, planning it and making sure everything was going to look nice and go smoothly. I was picturing the day as a whole, just as a whirlwind of family and photos and craziness. It was very much a family/photo/crazy experience, but when I reflect back on that day, the single moment  that stands out is when my sister and new brother in law walked out of the temple, and she was the happiest I had ever seen her. Her smile was so sincere and never left her face, and I remember being choked up with tears, grateful for how happy she was. It was not the decorations I so carefully planned, or the food bar that I was looking forward to that changed my heart, but that single moment that I cherish so deeply.

I remember being excited to go to Brigham Young University for college, and picturing classes, college social events, and just living the college life. While that has been the case for the past 3 years, that is not what has made college such a sweet experience. It was staying up until 3am talking with dear friends, going for a run in the rain with my best friend, sitting out on the porch and reading scriptures every night with the roommates, walking home from campus through the beautiful flowers and trees that are meticulously cared for, baking disasters, study sessions that turned into YouTube parties, getting locked out of my apartment, and grocery shopping. The little things have made my college experience a success, and has enriched my life more than I probably even realize.

Moments. That is what life is made of. Precious little moments, that are so easy to let pass us by. I have been very bad in the past about letting these moments whiz by, only to catch them when looking back in retrospect. I have made it a goal for 2013 to capture the moments, in the moment! Life has been such a fuller experience for me. Cleaning fridges, going running every morning, baking a cake, driving to Lubbock, yard work, and countless other activities have turned into some of my fondest most recent memories. 

I absolutely love life. I love getting to know people and hearing their story, I love doing daily things that just become a part of me and who I am. I love realizing how much the course of my life changes over the little moments. I am who I am because of a million little moments. It is easy to yearn for the "next big thing," but chances are you are in one of those big things you had been looking forward to only moments before. Live life in the moment. Do it because that exact moment will never happen again. Be mindful of the future, but live in the now. 

Successful Week!

If a week could get an award for the busiest, craziest, and best, it would be this past one! Let me share with you what can happen in a week:

I FINALLY was able to spend some time with this girl, we got to catch up on each other's lives, and of course made it a classic Jannette/Lindsey reunion with chocolate covered strawberries and fritos and avocados. It was a much needed bonding night. :)

This handsome missionary served in my ward in London...

He is now home, and came to Provo to visit! We got to hang out and had a blast, and reminiscing about London and life and such. :)

Kristen and Alex graduated! Both his family and our family came into town, and we took lots of pictures and ate good food and enjoyed each other's company. Needless to say, it was all about them. ;)

Kristen and Alex climbed a tree.... Well Alex climbed a tree, pulled Kristen up, and then Kristen climbed down Dad. This picture doesn't quite capture the hilariousness of the moment, but just imagine.

Kristen and I drove her car home on Saturday. We left at 7am, and drove 15 hours, listening to good music and just talking. It was my last real bonding time before she left for Puerto Rico. Luckily I will see her in July, and hopefully fly out to visit in Puerto Rico soon!

I flew back to Provo 2 days after driving back to Texas (because I needed to now drive my car home!), and this awesome guy picked me up from the airport! We had a few direction mishaps, but hey, I made it home eventually, and it gave us some good time to talk and laugh. He loves me :)

Upon arriving back at my apartment to gather my last few things and snag a few Z's before driving my car back, I had a birthday package on my bed from William!... He sent me a banana. It didn't quite make it intact, I had to blow dry his letter, because it was covered with squished rotten banana. He is great. And he gets home in 84 days, in case anyone was curious! 

So I drove my car home on Tuesday (yes, drove home Saturday, flew back Monday, and drove home again Tuesday) with Keyan. It was my first time meeting him, and he needed a ride to Lubbock, so I obliged. He was a fun passenger and we made it! Once in Lubbock, I got to spend the night with Mandie, my longtime best friend, and we got to stay up talking like the old times. I'm excited to spend a few months with her while we are actually in the same state! :)

Wednesday was Ashleigh's 13th birthday! Man, I cannot believe my baby sister is actually a teenager! I remember watching her as a baby, carrying her around, taking her to nursery and primary at church, fixing her hair, and watching Barney with her. Now she is very independent and doesn't need big sister as much! But we still do fun things together. I painted her nails for her birthday and we watched a movie, and had lunch with her and our parents. It was a good day. :)

And, since I am such a wonderful sister, I made her an arrangement at Dairy Queen! She went to the restroom, and of course I had to do something nice for her when she came back since it was her birthday! Surprising her with a Blizzard would be too easy, and hiding in the car might not have made her a happy birthday girl. So, I made her an arrangement on her drink! As you can tell, she loved it. :)

 I've gotten to spend some quality time with my Mom. :) I love doing just about anything with her, and we got to talk about our Europe travels! She went when she was in college, and I got back in December, and we got to go through her album and see what she saw and what we both saw. It was a good time. And of course baby Eddie had to join in on the fun!

Last night I got to relax and watch a movie with my family, but I forgot everything was finders keepers here! Eddie and Evie took over my blanket, so I watched the movie blanket less. I didn't have the heart to take it from them.

While we are talking about pets, this old lady (17 years old!) has been taking advantage of me being home and my bedroom door not being all the way shut, and every time I go in, she is sleeping on my bed. 

Yes, all of this happened in just a week! I know, be amazed. Haha it was a wonderful way to end the semester and start the summer! I am now home in Texas for the next 4 months, and I am excited to see what adventures are coming my way!