Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Why Fix What isn't Broken?

Before today, when asked what is the worst feeling in the world, I might have answered a broken bone, or heartache, or no milk in the fridge. But, now what for me is the worst feeling in the world, is being told you are broken and need to be fixed. Let me explain:

Growing up, I was an awkward little kid, trying to grow into my own body, and one of my most noticeable traits was my ears sticking out. Many of my friends and peers would comment on it, some in a nasty and hurtful way. In fourth grade, I heavily debated getting them pulled back, to be "normal" like everyone else, but decided against it.

Fast forward to my first year of college. Living in the dorms, everyone is trying to meet everyone, names are hard to remember, yada yada. Found out a group of boys called me "Ears" because they couldn't remember my name. That stung a little, but I had grown comfortably into my own skin and ears.

Now let's go to today. Today, my mom shares with me an email she got from a plastic surgeon. He approached them about my ears, saying he could "fix" them, and since I wasn't married or anything (is this implied I won't get married because of my ears???) he could take care of it for me. Now that hurt. That stung. Having your parents approached by a plastic surgeon to "fix" you, implying that you are broken or that something is wrong. 

I could try to express to you the feeling of having my heart ripped out, or my confidence stripped from me, or the endless tears and emotional prayers that have occurred this morning, but I won't. I will share with you a more positive aspect from this very painful experience.

As a 21 year old single female, marriage is hopefully somewhere near in the future, and then my husband and I will start a family and have children. What kind of an example would I be setting for my children, "fixing" insecurities and little traits that make you an individual? When I have a daughter who doesn't like her nose, are we going to "fix" it like mommy "fixed" her ears? Because her nose is different from others, does that make it "broken" and something that needs to be "fixed"? No.

Maybe my ears detract or distract from my beauty, but who is anyone to tell me I am broken and need fixing? Each of our little traits that we are acutely aware of and try to hide or minimize, they are what make us individuals. What make us who we are. My ears stick out. Most people's don't. But putting them back, what will that "fix"?  I will still have the same heart, the same desires, the same humor, the same spirit, and that is what I should be working to fix and improve, not my little physical traits that are different. 

Love yourself. Love who you are, embrace your quirks and qualities. Be careful with your words for you never know whose soul or spirit you may have just damaged or crushed, whether it be temporarily or permanently.


  1. The offer to "fix" me has come several times in my life, but it took me longer than it has you to arrive at the conclusion we both know is right and true. Thank you for so beautifully writing what I know that so many men and women need to "hear."

  2. Lindsey Hanna, you have always been beautiful inside and out. You have a spirit that is unlike anyone I've ever known. You've got such a beautiful heart that is accepting of anyone, you love anyone that will let you. I will never forget driving around with you trying to find a shelter to take in that poor kitten you found on the highway. Your heart was broken because of the loss of your own pet but without a second thought you wanted to take care of that poor kitten. You have a special knack for seeing what others need and doing it. You are always serving others. You are always serving and loving the people you care about. These are only a few of the qualities I have come to love about my best friend. You are a sister to me. You have done so much for me in the past few years. In so many ways I look up to you. You've always been someone I know I could count on and I hope that as we keep learning more and more about this world around us that you will keep your fun, spunky, beautiful, loving, caring spirit around for me to learn from! I am always always always here for you! I don't know what I would do without ya girl! Keep your chin up and remember this lesson you have learned. One day your daughter might come home from school crying because something is "wrong" with her and you will be able to look into her eyes and tell her that she is a beautiful daughter of God and that nothing is wrong with her. Then, you can tell her about your experience and she will think to herself, "my mom is the most beautiful woman I know and if she has confidence in herself than so can I"
    Keep your head up Lindsey Lou!
    Love you Always,
    Mandie Dionnnnne :)