Friday, June 28, 2013

Decisions and Agency

Every day I am making decisions, some bigger than others. But, each decision directly affects me! Every. Single. One. Obviously some have bigger consequences than others, but each one has their consequences.

Some decisions I will be making in the near future weigh heavy on my mind, day in and day out. I wake up in the middle of the night, panicking about the decision, playing out every possible scenario, and over thinking every detail, no matter how big or small. Even in my dreams, my decisions and worries are present and weighing down on me! Awake or asleep, my thoughts march on.

Today was no exception. My mind was preoccupied with decisions and choices, but today I had an "ah-ha" moment. Something I know I have realized many times, but every time I do, it brings me so much comfort. It's MY decision. I get to choose. I got a letter from Robert, and I had written him about a certain event that hurt my feelings, and he told me it was my choice to be offended, and to choose not to be. How simple of a statement, yet how true!

I get to choose whether or not to be offended. I get to choose whether or not to be happy. I get to choose who I talk to and what I say to them. I get to choose what to have for breakfast in the morning, who to share my thoughts and dreams with, and I even get to choose what I think about, even though sometimes it doesn't feel that way.

Basically, agency is a blessing. Life can be as full and as happy as you choose. I know that I am in charge of my future, and I get to pick what kind of a life I lead. People may not always understand my choices or agree with my decisions, but I know as long as I counsel with the Lord, it will all be okay.

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